Have you ever felt like running away? Well that is where I have been the past few weeks. Life has been a challenge. I've been discouraged, depressed and well...ready to just pack my bags and hit the road. I've struggled with my attitude and my actions. I've stomped my feet and cried out to God and boy have I wanted to just escape. This past weekend, however, I witnessed something that completely floored me, and convicted me of my actions and attitudes. My daughter is on a competitive dance team. Most of the girls on the team compete solo dances as well as team. This is the very first solo for three of the girls and one of them was the first one out on the stage after an already long day of dancing. As she took the stage and her music started she stopped right in the middle of her first few steps. She stared out at the audience and froze. The cheers from her family and her team mates broke into her thoughts and after a moment she began to tap again. She ended up finishing the rest of her routine to the applause of many. One of the judges actually began to clap and cheer her on when she started to dance again. I have never been so proud of a little girl! (And believe me these little girls have given me so many reasons to be proud of them over the last four years) When the awards were handed out the judges awarded her the "Handled It Like A Pro" award! We all stood up and cheered. She told her mother later, "Mommy I wanted to just run off that stage, but I knew I couldn't."
When I heard these words it hit me...you see I've wanted to run off the "stage" for weeks now, but I have kept dancing, although I haven't been handling myself like a pro. No instead I have been that spoiled little girl who stomps up the stairs and says, "This isn't fair God". I've moped around the house feeling sorry for myself and my circmstances. I've ranted and raved. I've threatened. One day I took out the suitcases to start packing, you will be happy to know I put them back. I have let the performance take control of me, instead of me taking control of the performance. I've done what I knew I had to do with entirely the wrong attitude. I've grumbled through my act, and not enjoyed every moment of it because I knew everyone was watching me. I've put on an act that all was well because you know I can't have one hair out of place when I "perform". The truth is life is messy. It's full of drama and upsets. Moments when we want to run off our stage and just hide! But we can't. We are surrounded with such a "great cloud" of witnesses. Heavenly ones, and ones here who watch as we fight on in the midst of our circumstances. They want to know if we are going to give up or go on with God.
I have to tell you that this little girl is now my "heroine". I want to remember that scene when she began to dance again forever. I want to burn it in my memory and never forget it. I want to learn to "keep" dancing when the cares of this life wear me down. More than anything though, when I walk through Heaven's gates, I want God to hand me the "Handled It Like A Pro" award. I want Him to be proud of my attitude and my actions when life's dramas hit hard. So keep dancing, in the midst of the storm, you see I believe He dances right beside you.
