The Danger of Criticism

What no Family Huddle this week?  Hey, it's been a crazy month for me. I've decided I did January all wrong.  I tried to fit too much into it, and didn't take enough time for me.  Which come to think of it, is the story of my life.  I led Kidz Life Church all this month, and had a great time doing it.  I was a Mom, which is a full time job in and of itself.  I worked more hours than ever before at the church, and I spoke on a Wednesday on What Seventh-Day Adventists Believe....oh and I took my last credentialing class at GSOM, and got a 100!  Not that I am bragging or anything.  Yes, I am tired just remembering all that happened in January.

It was during my study on Seventh-Day Adventists that I came across, in my New Living Translation Study Bible, Romans 14 and I looked at it with new eyes.  Written over the chapter are these words, "The Danger of Criticism".  I would encourage you to read this chapter this week.  It's an incredible word for the body of Christ.  It's not saying that I can't discuss what I believe and why I believe it.  It is really saying don't criticize me if I choose to wear pants to Sunday morning service, and you choose to wear a skirt!  (A word I received from our Associate Pastor's wife, that still echoes in my spirit.)  Okay so it really isn't saying that word for word, but I think you will get the drift once you have read it.

God wants to be at work in all of us!  Critics can cause division.  They can hurt people.  A long time ago I said some things to a family member.  It caused so much pain, and I regretted the words as soon as I said them.  It took a while and some tears, but eventually I was forgiven.  I wrote this poem and sent it to my family member.  I won't share it all here, but I thought it fit my thoughts this morning.

                                   The words that lie between us,
                                   Keep haunting me in my mind,
                                   And though I try so hard to forget them,
                                   They are with me all the time.

                                    For you wound me, you wound me,
                                    With the words of a hateful tongue you wound my heart.
                                    But He'll heal us, He will heal us.
                                    Through His love and His forgiveness we'll have a brand new start.

                                    I cannot blame it all on you,
                                    For my tongue did damage too.
                                    If I beg for your forgiveness now,
                                    Can we work it out somehow?

                                    For I hurt you, I hurt you,
                                    With the words of a hateful tongue I broke your heart.
                                    But He'll heal us, He will heal us,
                                    Through His love and His forgiveness we'll have a brand new start.

                                    For the tongue can do much damage,
                                    To a brother or a friend,
                                    And those hateful words we said, we'd like to take them back again.
                                    So guard against this evil, for it comes not from our Lord.
                                    For the tongue can be more painful than a mighty battle sword.

                                     For you wound me, and I hurt you,
                                     With the words of a hateful tongue we hurt each other.
                                     But He'll heal us, He will heal us,
                                     Through His love and His forgiveness we'll become brothers....

I am not proud of many of the things I have said throughout my life, but I like to think that now I try to "Think" before I "Speak".  I want Words of Life to come forth from my lips, and not words of Criticism.  Read Romans 14 this week, and if by some chance you have said something to someone, words that hurt them, go ahead and ask forgiveness.  The relationship may never be the same again, but at least you will know you did something to begin the healing process.  Blessings......

Family Huddle #4....and SO many Good Intentions

Wow...I can't believe I didn't get back on here once last week...shows just how busy my life is.  So I am determined to at least write once a week, and give out new ideas for spending time with your family.  Life does get way too busy and many times in the rush, we neglect those closest to us.

So...here's what I wanted to share this week.  We live near the city of Atlanta.  We go into downtown quite a lot for things, and have often wanted to go to the top of the Westin Hotel, to the revolving restaurant.  We always see the Westin in the skyline, and say "someday" we are going up there, but after six years here so close to the city we had never done it.

Have I told you that we are NOT having Sunday PM services as much anymore?  Well we aren't.  Instead of sitting home one Sunday afternoon and evening watching TV we got a quick bite to eat at our favorite sub shop...Firehouse Subs...not only because it has the whole FireMan theme going on...and my husband LOVES it...but also because it was started in the city where we fell in love, Jacksonville, Florida.  After eating our subs we drove into downtown, it was a beautiful fall day the sun was shining and we parked the car and headed up the glass elevators to the top of the Westin. 

I will never forget seeing the kids faces as we climbed up the side of that hotel in the elevator.  They both were sitting down they were so scared.  Once we got to the top they calmed down some. We ended up getting sodas/coffee and we shared two desserts.  We sat for two hours...revolving around that restaurant...talking, laughing and enjoying the view of Atlanta.  I know I won't forget our day, and they won't either. 

So this week...I challenge you, do something with your kids in your city or area...something you have been meaning to do.  It doesn't have to cost that much, ours didn't really.  The time together laughing and doing something new is priceless!

Family Huddle #3- Funny Book Moment!

     Just before I married Randy I bought a journal.  Nothing new really, I've been writing in diaries since I was 13 or so.  This journal however wasn't for me...it was for Josiah.  I began writing him letters, notes, poems or just writing down "funny" things he said or did.  When Aiden Rose was born I had already bought one for her too.  The kids funny books have become as much "fun" for me as they are for them.  I don't always write in them, but I try to write down the really big moments, or the really "funny" moments.

     Often the kids will ask me to get out their journals and read from them.  If I have sent an e-mail or a letter to a Grandparent, and I do this often with news of what the kids have been up to, I simply add those to the journal.  So my idea for this week...begin writing down the funny things your kids say and do.  Often we share them with someone, but by the next year they may be forgotten.  Writing them down makes sure they are around for a long time.  I know one day when my kids grow up and move away they are going to love taking their "funny" books with them!  I will just be sad to see them all go! 
 
     Spend time with your kids this week!  I am about to go make Whoopie Pies with Aiden Rose...yum!

That Ah-Ha Moment!

I love the book of Job!  I can really relate to that guy.  As a matter of fact when my first husband Rob was dealing with cancer, we compared ourselves to Job a lot.  One of Rob's favorite sayings was, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him."  Kind of a hard concept to wrap your head around, but what a creed to live by.

I was reading in Job the other day.  Job 42:1-6....I am reading in the New Living Translation and verse 5 says this...(Job speaking)...."I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes".  I called this in my journal...the Ah-Ha moment.  That moment when you stop hearing about how GREAT God is and you see it for yourself.

So what is your Ah-Ha moment?  I've had several.  I think the greatest one for me however came on September 28, 2001 at 2:20 AM in the morning.  It was then that the drugs from my emergency
c-section had worn off, then that the Doctor's declared my little Rosebud okay and I held her for the very first time, my miracle baby girl.  When the promise that God gave you comes to pass you can't help but have that Ah-Ha moment. 

But I could also tell you that I sometimes have that Ah-Ha Moment when I look at His creation.  When I see the stars...or yes, hear the rolling thunder!  I thank HIM for my Ah-Ha moments when they come.  I am anxious for that wonderful Ah-Ha moment, "when my faith shall be my sight", and I shall behold HIM face to face. 

Just loving you more today Father...than I did yesterday.

G

It's...Complicated

So I am sure that I have mentioned that I love my new job?  If I haven't...know this...I do.  I am now the Ministry Assistant at our church working along side this very nice looking Italian guy. 

One part of my job is to send out visitor letters.  On the form we have there is a place for Marital Status.  It says things like the usual, Married, Widowed, Divorced, Single and Single Again.  A while back one came across my desk that made me smile, actually it made me rollover with laughter if you want the absolute truth.  On this card the visitor had put in their own category....are you ready for this?  It said, Complicated!  (Told you this was funny!)

I think we have all been there in relationships and in our family.  Complicated sounds like a great way to describe my relations.  I mean I have three mother-in-laws...well I sort of do.  There is Linda, the Mom of my first husband Rob.  A great lady, talented singer and the mother of 5 boys!  She used to be a singer on Cruise ships....yes, that is me being a bit envious.  Then there is Ann, the Mom of my second husband Randy (the nice looking Italian guy I work with!).  Ann is an incredible woman, and a wonderful Nina (grandmother).  She encourages and educates her grandchildren mostly with stories of their dad.  Then there is another Ann...who technically is Randy's mother-in-law from his first marriage to Rhonda...so I am not sure what that makes her to me, but to me Ann is family!  She loves my daughter Aiden just as much as she loves her daughter's son Josiah.  (See I told you it got complicated!)

I love my crazy mixed up family!  I love Ann S. and Ann M. and I love Linda!  WOW...three mother-in-laws!  No matter how complicated your family relations are, just remember to LOVE on them.  After all think about this....Jesus's family was complicated too!  I mean how do you think he tried to explain about His siblings?  Yes, it's Complicated.  Life sometimes is...don't you know!

Family Huddle #2

Okay...so the really funny thing is it's Monday night.  I am cooking the Scalise family favorite..spaghetti, and we are, are you ready for this?  Painting Josiah's bathroom.  You know when you have been promising your kids that you would do something for like, forever, and finally late one Monday afternoon you pull out the paint can?  Well that's what's happening.

Did I mention that it was I who pulled out the paint can, but it's Dad who is putting paint on the wall?  Pretty sneaky aren't I?  Hey..but it's Monday, and Dad is instructing the children in painting.  It's great! I will try to post pics of before and after soon.

I wanted to throw out another Scalise family favorite for "huddle time".  We love to LAUGH!  So...we have scoured the Christian bookstores for some of our favorite comedians.  We really love Tim Hawkins as a family...but there are so many others out there.  Can I suggest "Thou Shalt Laugh".  There are about 5 of them...haven't seen the last one, but so far we have loved them all.  (WE LOVE MICHAEL JR!!!!!)  Go buy one...read your Bible together and then pop in a video and sit back and LAUGH together!  It's the BEST medicine.

Hey we Scalise's don't have it all together...there is still stress, and tension in the house, but one thing we can do really well together is LAUGH...and quote Tim Hawkins!

Enjoy.....and oh yeah...eat some spaghetti while you are at it!  Wow...I cooked dinner, got the family painting the bathroom and wrote a BLOG!  My Monday is complete!!!!

Dreams......

May your dreams
  never disappear with age,
 but may they continue
 as alive and as beautiful as you
 with the knowledge that they
 will someday come true.
                    -Joanne Domenech

I just love Blue Mountain Press Poetry!